I haven’t sat down to write a blog post in over 2 months and all I can think of are super cheesy ways to open this:
Hey.
It’s been a while.
Remember me?
Soooo about those blog updates..
Anyways... moving on. Post-grad life is really weird. I didn’t realize how much I identified as a student until I was done being a student. All of the structure that I’ve known for literally as long as I can remember has been centered around school, or at least the academic calendar, with its internships and classes and student orgs. Even the times that I had to myself like my cherished morning cups of coffee were only relative to the craziness of school and the responsibilities that I piled up through it.
In my final quarter of college, while I suffered through physics (don’t save your GEs for your final quarter!) I could not wait to get out of the cycle of studying for exams, taking exams, and cramming busywork while simultaneously trying to put as much energy as I could into my theatre projects. I felt totally burnt out and was so ready for everything to finally slow down so I could be more intentional, mindful, artistic. Now, there’s no “going through the motions” to “get in the way of my art” because all the routine I know is over with. And… it turns out to create a very bizarre experience.
This change, especially having so much more time in solitude, has been an odd mixture of refreshing and kind of torturous. I can lay around all day in my pajamas! I can drink 3 cups of coffee in 3 hours with my own mug at my own table with my own music blaring out the entire time while I just breathe! And yet… I can also sit around all day just sort of feeling lost without the built in communities and endless projects and company that I was so lucky to have these past few years. I guess my momentum could only keep going for so long. Having a break of sorts from the things I was most used to was a little difficult, but I think it was necessary.
I sort of feel like I’m experiencing some manifestation of when you take a nap in the middle of the day and wake up even more tired than before, like you would have been better off not sleeping at all, even though your body really needed it. I know deep down that I needed to slow down. I often find myself going stir-crazy in my apartment. But before this summer, I probably spent no more than 6 or 7 hours in my apartment every 24 hours, and that was to sleep exclusively. Having the ability to recharge has been odd but it’s also motivated me to get back to work on the things I love, even if it feels a little wonky at first.
Luckily (or not) I can’t seem to sit still for too long without diving into a project of sorts. I just get too restless. I feel so grateful to have found a couple of rehearsal rooms and hobbies that have been keeping my creative soul alive. In the past few months, I have:
Assistant directed a workshop of Where the Mountain Meets the Moon at South Coast Rep, directed by the one and only Jen Chang. I made a daily commute to Irvine and listened to my favorite podcasts and felt so content being back in a rehearsal room after a few months away from it. I got to read stage directions for the showing on the final day! All I had to do was read the words in front of me but I was still full of adrenaline. I loved every moment of the process.
Taken on the role of assistant stage manager for Moonlight Youth Theatre’s production of Freaky Friday. I haven’t formally stage managed in years, but again, it’s so refreshing just to be on a project, to be around actors and directors and artists of so many kinds, and to be working towards a common goal. I feel so fulfilled, especially when I drive home with Rita (BFF & PSM) and we switch off between laughing about inside jokes and going over changes that need to be made for the prop tracking list after the day’s rehearsal.
BFF Kristina after our first thrifting outing
Discovered the absolute joy of thrifting and fashion and fabric. I’m talking full-on research for the best thrift stores throughout the state of California. Learning how to identify—down to the decade, if not the exact year—a pair of vintage Levis 501s. (It’s just a little complicated). Trekking across town to buy a used sewing machine to start repairing and restoring pieces. Turning my apartment living room into a full on sewing/steaming/ironing/fashion photography/creative studio. Accidentally taking over said living room. Learning to put everything on wheels… and transporting said studio from my bedroom to my balcony to my living room again. (Sorry, roomies.) Oh yeah I also promptly started a small (SMALL) business out of the living room (sorry again, roomies). My Depop shop is surprisingly a really fun creative outlet.
Become obsessed with yarn. And punch needling. And the crazy world of textile art. 1 month ago I had no idea what an Oxford Punch Needle was but now I need one, and probably the entire kit with every needle size available. I really want to make some designs and go to town just making something. I mean LOOK AT THIS WOMAN - she literally makes portraits out of embroidery floss and a punch needle. I love it. I plan on probably breaking all of the technique rules along the way once I get my hands on one of these things but… it just looks so fun.
Started narrating audiobooks! This is probably the most unexpected but thrilling discovery I’ve made this summer. I’m putting my theatre degree to use, folks! And I guess it’s like everyone says, it’s for something I would have never expected. I get to sit in my room (read: CLOSET. read: HOME STUDIO PART 2.) with big headphones and a fancy microphone for hours (!) narrating the books in front of me. And then, I edit all of it and focus on sound engineering and putting together a final product that is high quality and does the book justice. I am in the process of editing my first audiobook — around 7 hours of finished audio—and just accepted an offer to begin recording my second. I may not be an actor-actor, but this has been pretty darn fun.
The earth keeps spinning and I keep figuring it out, even if it’s little baby steps each day. I’m loving every moment! And man, it feels nice to have a change of pace.